overwhelmed..

I don't know what to say. Today was intense. I started reading a book, well listening to a book and it was good. It had me in heavy thought and then I headed to Vellum (young adults group) and we talked about the death and resurrection of the Lord. It was a good night in the sense of things being brought to the forefront of my mind and having my focus shifted off myself and back onto the Lord. It was this good time of prayer and intercession. But I just got to thinking about life and things, and this book its interesting all the ideas it brings up and how applicable it is to time and the things that are going on in life. You know I go through my day all the time forgetting about the intensity and the significance of his actions. I know this sounds horrible, but its true I get so caught up in me and ish that I forget about it. And then of course someone says something to me about the Lord and his ability to meet me where I am and he won't leave me, and though I know this I don't think about it. I don't think wow the power behind his death and resurrection. I just go on in my self involved day and maybe pray to him but i don't know that i always get it. So I was in my book this morning and it was talking again about this relationship between us and the Lord, or us and each other and I was reminded of the ability to love beyond myself. How we are called to extend that love to one another. I think I get so caught up in my fear that I miss that we are all the same in some form or fashion. At times I walk around with this fear that I will give myself to someone and they will withdraw and I will be left feeling sad, violated, silly. And there was this time in my life where I wouldn't open myself up to others because I was sick of the hurt that came with the disappointment. But then one day I took the Lord at his word, that I was/am his beloved and he will not/does not leave me. I was reminded of this today. That putting yourself out there is often the best part, if I am not willing to take that step of faith then I just might miss some of the best things life has to offer. I might just miss out on the one thing that I was created for.
All this to say, some times its scary sometimes I don't know what I am doing, and maybe some times you don't know what you are doing, maybe you don't think you have it in you. But the Lord says that you are his beloved and you have limitless worth. I encourage you to not put up walls and take a step of faith and trust him cause he is worth trusting.
I love you all, thanks for the moments of sharing and I pray those moments continue for a life time. I am praying for you that the Lord would meet you where you are and do what only he can do.