Shhhh....

Today I missed the conversation, the intimate exchange of thoughts and feelings, the challenge and the growth. I thought about the last time that I felt full. Full of Him and awake in what this all means. It's been awhile since I have been there, you know that place where we embrace one

another. Where this all falls into place and at the end of it all I walk away amazed by His splendor. How does it come and go so easily? Why is it this "thing" that I set aside like I can function without it? I can't function. I miss it. I miss it.
So there is this longing that I have and I take it out on others cause I refuse to see it starts with me. I long for the exchange, I fight for it with my spirit. But I miss it with my flesh. I miss it with my intentions and my self crap. Then you come along and I ask you to fill it, and here I am again missing it. I get mad cause you wont give me what I want when all I really need to do is set myself at the his feet. Be quiet and just lay there.
So today I saw that Ive been missing it, and so I'm sitting here at his feet and waiting. Being quiet in hopes that I don't try and fill myself with noise again...but again will happen. So for now I will take that grace that falls like rain and wash myself in it.

For the Ladies!

Ok ladies do I have a song for you...now we all know that I love to dance, and for most of you that read this I know you like getting your grove on as well, so here it is.... I found the next best song to blast in your room while getting ready and doing that thing you do in front of the mirror when you want to feel sexy...THATS RIGHT SEXY!!!!!

Go purchase Joss Stones Put Your Hands On Me....I had this song in my head phones this afternoon and had one hell of a jam session in my room...haha...ok ladies go get your grove on!

ps. the rest of the album is great too, there is a song called Music that is also one of my favorites.

All signs point to me.

Sooo today I think I am walking around with a sign around my neck that says, "Cuss me out, yell at me, hate me." Because today one of my boys took it upon himself to show me just how colorful the English language can be when you throw in a F word here and there. This was probably one of the most out of control moments I have had with a kid since I started almost two years ago. This kid is huge, I mean really heavy set, and he is angry and he wasn't afraid to show it. Now I can normally hold my ground,but this time was a bit scarier then normal and I have to say i was thankful for the male staff that came and stepped in on my behalf.
Anyhow I thought I would share that experience and then say that it is moments like this that get me excited to leave for Nashville. Which leads me into a minor update for those of you who are wondering.
So I am waiting on some job possibilities, I interviewed for one last week that I would actually really like but we will see. the plan is to leave July 1 as my family has decided to stay here til September which is great. I am traveling to Nash next week for about a week and then coming home and gearing up to leave. So those of you who have told me that you want to come and visit you better get a move on cause time is running out!

Random thought from my travels across Wyoming Montana and Idaho this last weekend... I'd like to go camping, I think I'd like to try and go to Yosemite before I leave. Not sure why I am sharing that with you other then to encourage you to get out of the house and enjoy nature.

so my question is...

So I'm in the airport and I'm waiting for my connection to San Diego...
I've walked back and forth trying to stretch my legs and find a place to plug in my laptop.
Now here is my question...what gives a man the thought in his head that he has the right to make ridiculous comments about a woman when he is passing her on the moving sidewalk...or anywhere really? This really gets under my skin.
I was walking on the moving side walk and these three men who work for the airport start guaking at me from the other end and when we pass eachother on the sidewalk they start making comments about my figure, as though I cannot hear them, and talk about me like Im just something to critique. It was so abnoxious! They thought it was flattering and made eyes at me like I was going to hand my number over to them and thank them for such "flattering" remarks. WHATEVER!!!! ugh can i just say that it is the most unattractive disgusting thing that a man can do to a woman.

Story time with Nicci

So lets chat for a minute about the fact that I am obsessed with trees...yea I don't know what it is but I am so fascinated by them that I will sit and just stare at any one tree for hours...I don't know what it is. But then I was thinking back on a conversation I had with a roommate last year when I was going through this time of purification. We were talking about how people or things can become such a part of who you are that they are like trees rooted in the depths of who you are and to rid yourself of it is similar to taking the a tree from the ground. It rips so much of the earth with it that it leave this hole. The hole is filled and the earth heals in time but its changed.
I was thinking about the last few years and all the things the Lord took from me, all for good reason, but it left this hole that he has been filling in over the last year and I am feeling this newness. I am more alive now than I have been in years and I am walking in this joy that is so refreshing.
So in that I am getting ready to start this book, not just a chapter but a book. I have had closure on things that have been open wounds for a long time, and some delightful new additions to my life. I leave in just over a month for Nash and there I will be starting over on a new adventure with my bff and my new family. There is a new job, a new life, a new love....oh my gosh! Guys keep me in your prayers, I interview this week, Wednesday to be exact. There are so many good things going on that I cant do them justice on here but I would love to talk to you all...BOS THIS MEANS YOU. I don't have your number in Canada so hurry your ass up and contact a sista.

Ok love you guys. I will keep you posted on the moving info and the job info. The number is staying the same for awhile though so you all can call me on my celly.

ps... this is a tree i sat under for hours in Boston isn't it marvelous!

Ellen

So last Wednesday I went on the Ellen Show and its airing today so if you wanna try and find me amidst the people in the park I say watch it and have fun....Kelly Clarkson rocked the house (and for those who are player haters I don't know what to tell you) it was allot of fun and thought I'd let you all know...HEY BOS we are going to So You Think You Can Dance later this month....where the hell you at?!?

Warm ears..

smiles smiles tons of smiles. yes you, you made me smile.

song to fit the mood: Bubbly by Colbie....

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today...not so good....someone broke into my car last night. They trashed the inside of the car and stole my ipod and some money, I guess I am lucky they didn't take anything else but it didn't help my day to start off well. Then I got to work and the "queen" my nickname for the boss here, totally got in my face. I just about walked out and left. Ugh this is not a good day, so now I'm venting on here and hoping my day gets better....

What a weekend

Here goes a recap of the weekend and all my thoughts:

Saw my bff get baptised with her bro...what a blessing that was to be a part of.

Sang my heart out with the LAYDAYS at Amandas place...nothing like some good karaoke to get you in the right mind set.

Found out I have a parasite and its been the reason behind my nausea this week.

Saw Spiderman 3 with the bro and though the movie wasn't worth much, it was so good to be with him.

Ryan makes me happy and I cannot wait for August.

If I had to count on myself to get through things, I am not so sure I would make it.

The Mission, though good food had some seriously wack service this morning...but nothing like a little humor to pass the time. Shout out to my bros and Nae Nae.

There is a man out there for my bff and I cannot wait til he gets his ish together and wakes up cause she is amazing.

I like the song.

Im really going to miss my family and the beaches.

Can't wait to get back to the gym tomorrow.

I am not such a super human after all...

Song of the night: Brighter than Sunshine by Aqualung....

Prayer

Just real quick to ask you to pray. I found out I may have to leave San Diego even sooner then I thought, real sad about that today as it means no time with my brother before I go. not even sure how I will pay for my travels to Nashville with such short notice. this could mean instead of the end of June I would be leaving in three weeks. I really want to be able to spend June here so I can be with my brother and my friends and save some money from work. Ugh....lots of tears today. thanks guys