I love

the words of the Lord
the sound of the ocean
the smell of the grass just after the rain
dancing in the isles
that song that penetrates me to the core
the way brown looks so good on him
the sunset at Torrey Pines Cliffs
the sound of my moms voice
the mystery of HIS presence
my brothers ability to make all things funny
creating whole story lines in a dance
learning about you
laughing til I cry
having the freedom to be me
the ease of that freedom with my best friends
forgiveness
lilies and tulips
pushing myself to the next level
the power of words
spontaneity
mangoes
Africa in the fall
that the list keeps on going...

Adventures in a new city

Well, Ive officially been in Nashville for about a week and things are good. Ive been getting settled into the time change, the new house, new streets and sites to see. I've gone to several Mexican restaurants and am surprised to say that it ain't half bad. Now granted I can only have corn tortillas and carne asada but its been good nonetheless.
Today I ventured out and went looking for houses and apartments that Rene and I might be interested in (for those who don't know Rene is moving out here with me, she'll be here in August). I got lost in a few neighborhoods but found one of the most beautiful homes and it had a red door! Unfortunately it wasn't for rent. :(
Then I went to the gym, which was UH-mazing, and made some friends there. I don't know if its just that people here are that much nicer then Californians or that I'm putting out a "I'm new" vibe but I have met people everywhere I've gone these past few days. I love it to say the least.
I start my new job this coming Monday which should be great. I really enjoy the people I'll be working with there is one lady there whose name is Joyce, she is the sweetest lady, she just reminds me of my grandma and I feel at peace around her. So I'm excited to say the least.
Anyhow just thought I'd give a minor update. Hope all is well in your part of the world.

Lets talk about...

So its getting down to the wire. I have about a week left here in beautiful San Diego and it is starting to hit me how hard it is going to be to leave this place that I have called my home for the better part of my life. Its funny because so many times I have prepared to leave this place and have done all the goodbyes and the rushing around like a chicken with her head cut off. But this is the first time that I am leaving and not coming back. There will be no temporary goodbye to my house and the ocean and friends/family. I can't believe I'm packing all my crap into my car and driving across country. This is going to be one hell of an adventure.

So here is the break down. I'm having a party this weekend, which should be amazing, then its one last week of work, gym time, surfing, tanning and hitting up all my favorite eateries. (that's right this is the last time I get GOOD mexican food, I don't care what you say if you have had our mexican no where in the USA compares and don't try to convince me otherwise) Then next Saturday I am off to AZ to see my old friends and the next morning I start the long haul to Colorado then Missouri and finally Tennessee! I get there the 3rd and will spend my first holiday in the great city of Nashville.

As for the info, my number will stay the same for awhile so people can get a hold of me. I will inform you of the new digits when it happens. If you all want my new address toss me an email as I will not be posting it on here. (you know stalkers and all) haha...

Time is short

I'm not sure how to write what I am feeling but for some reason I think if I write this down it will some how make things make more sense. I witnessed a 19 year old girl die today after a tragic car accident just outside of my work. She was involved in a head on collision with another vehicle and the front end of her car compacted her inside. I ran to check and see if I could help but when we checked for a pulse there was nothing. A few moments later a fire truck came and they worked on getting her out but it was as if they knew it was too late. They tried to revive her but she had already been gone for over fifteen minutes. It was surreal seeing this girl lay there with no life. There was a body but not life left in her. All I could do was think about her family and how they didn't know. She had no idea that it was going to end today. The pain her family must be feeling and that it all happened so suddenly. I prayed and cried on my drive home for so many reasons, but mainly I thought of how I just take things for granted and I think I have time. It made me wanna call everyone and do everything I had been meaning to do. Even after I got home and had discussed it with a few people it hadn't really sunk in. It wasn't til a little bit ago that it really started to take its toll. Sometimes there are things that we won't deal with or we won't do because we are too scared. We won't tell people things or try certain things cause we either think we have the time to or something, if not ourselves, holds us back from taking that step. We let go of passions, we forget about dreams, we miss the big picture or even the small one. We let the lame things over rule the most powerful moments we could experience and for what?
It makes me frustrated, frustrated at me, at others and I just want to say "What do you expect? What did you think was going to happen? Is this really how you want it to be? Are you gonna walk around with your tail between your legs cause your too damn scared to step it up?" There are things we need to take time out to do, relationships that need mending or maybe just expression of truth and love, whatever that may look like to you. I don't know. I just know that seeing that young vibrant girl laying there lifeless and knowing minutes before she was probably singing to some song on the radio thinking she had all the time in the world, changes things. I'm not going to forget what Tess looked like laying there on the pavement, and I hope I don't get stuck in this rut again.
And if I do...may I be found again and pulled from it.

abide

Get Moving!

Abide in Me . . . —John 15:4

In the matter of determination.

The Spirit of Jesus is put into me by way of the atonement by the Cross of Christ. I then have to build my thinking patiently to bring it into perfect harmony with my Lord. God will not make me think like Jesus— I have to do it myself. I have to bring "every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ" (2 Corinthians 10:5 ). "Abide in Me"— in intellectual matters, in money matters, in every one of the matters that make human life what it is. Our lives are not made up of only one neatly confined area.

Am I preventing God from doing things in my circumstances by saying that it will only serve to hinder my fellowship with Him? How irrelevant and disrespectful that is! It does not matter what my circumstances are. I can be as much assured of abiding in Jesus in any one of them as I am in any prayer meeting. It is unnecessary to change and arrange my circumstances myself. Our Lord’s inner abiding was pure and unblemished. He was at home with God wherever His body was. He never chose His own circumstances, but was meek, submitting to His Father’s plans and directions for Him. Just think of how amazingly relaxed our Lord’s life was! But we tend to keep God at a fever pitch in our lives. We have none of the serenity of the life which is "hidden with Christ in God" ( Colossians 3:3 ).

Think of the things that take you out of the position of abiding in Christ. You say, "Yes, Lord, just a minute— I still have this to do. Yes, I will abide as soon as this is finished, or as soon as this week is over. It will be all right, Lord. I will abide then." Get moving— begin to abide now. In the initial stages it will be a continual effort to abide, but as you continue, it will become so much a part of your life that you will abide in Him without any conscious effort. Make the determination to abide in Jesus wherever you are now or wherever you may be placed in the future.

Nashville Update...here I come!!!!!

Ok boys and girls I just returned from a very eventful week in Nashville, my new home. Here is the deal. I went for about five days and I interviewed at 5 different places. Three of which I was really interested in and three of which I think I have in the bag, well at least two of them. And though all three are good opportunities and for different reasons I could choose each one. I have decided to take the first job which is working as a case manager for adults with mental retardation. The job starts the third week of July so I will be leaving here June 30th to head to AZ for a night then onto CO where I pick up my buddy T-diggs and then onto MO and then TN.....soooo if you are some where on the way I would love to see you. I appreciate all the prayers and support and I ask that you all continue to pray for me as I will be going out about two weeks before I start and will be in a tight bind financially.

So if you wanna come to San Diego you got two weeks, if you want to come to Nashville you got some time...love you guys

How it goes

Its amazing how things go. These past couple days I have had this interesting encounter with life. I have been on my knees more then I have in a while, and so many a Christians would say when you get deeper you can expect the attacks to come, and maybe that is what this is, but at the same time I have had this difficulty with that thought process. I have been battling with thoughts of discouragement and fear, going toe to toe with things that shouldn't be a big deal but have been. Talking about it seems trivial and pointless but last night was by far the most intense time I have had in a long time. I had a horribly uncomfortable and awkward encounter with a friend, I struggled to focus on prayer and worship and when I drove home I felt like my heart was suffocating. I know that this is a moment that passes and I am not looking for words or a fix it plan. I am just setting myself before the Lord and asking him what he has for me in this. But I am wanting to share this with you all maybe partially to ask you to pray for me, to intercede on my behalf, but also to say these are the moments where the happy fluffy Christian stuff goes out the door and I recognize the reality of walking with the Lord. Now I have never been one to assume that things should be perfect and I am not trying to claim that, I know full well the ups and downs of walking with the Lord and walking with myself really. I feel heavy and overloaded with crap that I, I refuse to let go of. I don't truly desire to hold onto it but yet and still here I am gripping it to death. So today I am laying it down and I may have to do this over and over again and that's ok. Whats not ok is continuing to walk around like I am able to do this without the help of the Lord. As though the issues that come up, whether big or small, pointless or meaningful, are something to put aside and think about later. I refuse to stay in this place when it is so evident that He is calling me to something more. When my spirit longs for more.